For some of our female patients, just hearing me say the word “porn” makes them cringe, look away and change the subject. At this point, I feel like I have lost them into an abyss of discomfort and the conversation about watching anything to get turned on hits a wall.
So I thought, what about TV? The era of couples sleeping in separate beds has definitely ended. How about getting turned on by your favorite TV shows and characters? Sex in the City paved the way for us to relate to female TV characters as sexual beings that have sex, and we got to see quite a bit! More current sexy shows include Scandal, The Affair, and I even had one patient tell me she got turned on by watching “Dancing with the Stars,” the sexy costumes and the grinding get her hot.
One of the things I think many women appreciate about sexy TV is that there are actual individuals they can relate to and follow their “story.” Yes, sex with a stranger is sexy, but sex with someone with a background and history can be sexy too. As with everything in life, people have preferences. Some of us like it extra spicy and some like it mild. It is probably safer to start off with mild, and move up to extra spicy, because if you cringe when “extra spicy,” is mentioned…mild might be the way to go. And then who knows, maybe one day you will be up for some spice?
So now when I ask patients, “What TV shows do you like to watch? Anything sexy on TV?” I get a thoughtful glance, and “well there was that one episode where…” Fill in the blank yourself!